Have you tried everything to get him back? Have you suggested counseling or couples therapy or even offered to go to counseling yourself? Have you tried talking with him about the many things that he says are wrong with your relationship or tried to help him to work through the problems he may have with your relationship? Chances are none of these have worked, right?
The problem with trying to use counseling to get him back is that right now he doesn’t really want you or the relationship any more. Even if you could get him to go to counseling with you or if he would agree to sit down and talk through the problems in the relationship, right now he doesn’t want you or the relationship. Try not to take this too hard. There is a solution. I am just pointing out the reason why these methods never work.
In order for any sort of discussion between the two of you to be fruitful he has to want you and a relationship with you in order for you to get him back. It would be like trying to sell a guy a car if he doesn’t see the need for a car. He did have a car and he didn’t like it. All he remembers is that he had to change the oil and get it inspected and put gas in it. That is all he remembers so he doesn’t want a car. It sounds irrational but men can often be irrational. It is a matter of helping him to remember what it was like to have that freedom to go anywhere he wanted and how cool he looked with the music playing, the windows down in his car.
In order to get him back and have him motivated to want you and your relationship again you need to start from square one. Even though you might want to talk about the relationship and try to convince him that he would be happier if the two of you got back together, men are stubborn and you will never be able to convince him of anything right now.
Avoid all talk of your relationship, what you want, what you are going to change in yourself to appease him and forget about talking about counseling. Nobody wants to talk about negative things or problems. These are a turn-off to him and most people in general. Instead, make your conversations light and fun. If anything funny has happened in your life lately or if anything upbeat and positive has happened to you or anyone you know you can talk about this.
As your conversation progresses you can bring up a happy memory or two and keep the tone positive. Talk about how you were remembering the other day about a certain fun weekend that the two of you shared or an inside joke that was between the two of you. What you are trying to do is recreate that connection with him and get him to drop his defenses. Of course, if you have been putting a lot of pressure on him to get back together he might not let you in right away, but remain positive, upbeat and fun.
Lastly, as your connection grows your opportunity to get him back will present itself. You will eventually be given the chance to get him back but don’t push. You have successfully opened the door to getting him back and all it will take is one bad conversation for him to come to the conclusion that you really haven’t changed and that all you want is to get him back and he will stop communicating with you again. So, any time you are feeling angry about the breakup or negative or are feeling needy and insecure about getting him back together refrain from talking to him. The future of your relationship and any chance of getting him back rides on your ability to keep your cool and stay in control of your emotions through this difficult time.
Click Here to see how to get him back both quickly and easily. Find out the secret conversation techniques guaranteed to get him back that will have him apologizing and begging for another chance.
No comments:
Post a Comment